Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize