apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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