so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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