worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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