He is such a slut. More and more my type.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
