how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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