Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
