I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
