You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
