I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
