If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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