Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
