I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
