so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
