Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
