I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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