You can't special order awesome
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
