we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
