i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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