I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize