I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
