Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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