whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
