I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
