My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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