How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
