he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So vagazzling was a success
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
