I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
