i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
