what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
