Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
