Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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