"it" just moved
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
