Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
