i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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