plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize