wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
