is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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