talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
