I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
