Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
