Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
