okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
