doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize