i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
