He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
