Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There are leaves in my underwear?
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