I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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