who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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