She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
