chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
