Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize