I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
