i already hear my dad disowning me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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