My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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