He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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