after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
