I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
