ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
