He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
