she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
