High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
