Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
