You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize