I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
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