He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
