If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
