Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
