nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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