I murdered the dance floor call the cops
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
